Lexi Rodriguez
Okay so I wrote out the pages. Please feel free to look for spelling and grammar errors or a better rhyme for anything that sounds too awkward.
(The passages in red are coming from Pebbles, while the text in black is a narrator).
Page 2: Once upon a time, in a land close to here, there was
a zoo.
It had a
safari, a jungle, and my favorite, an arctic pool so blue.
Page 3: I’m Pebbles the penguin, one of the animals who
live there.
I’m curious like a cat, and I’ve
got the courage of a grizzly bear.
Page 4: In Antarctica, a few years ago, as a baby I was
left all alone.
So I was
brought to the zoo and found loving parents of my own.
Page 5: I have two daddies: Roy and Mac Penguin, who really
love me so.
They hug
me when I fall, and help me build ice castles in the snow.
Page 6: The other animals don’t mind that I have not one
daddy but two.
My two daddies are just like all the other
animal parents at the zoo.
Page 7: However, one day things started to change for the
family of three.
The
zookeepers didn’t like that Pebbles had to daddies. They disagree.
Page 8: In the middle of the night, the zookeepers took
Pebbles’ dads away.
They sent
Roy and Mac to separate zoos just because they were gay.
Page 9: I don’t know why the zookeepers took my only family
away from me.
Now, I’m
all alone again. I worry every night where my dads might be?
Page 10: My family would play go fish just like the family
of polar bears do.
My daddies loved me so much like any other
family at this zoo.
Page 11: Tom, the junior zookeeper, started hearing Pebbles
crying at night.
He grew worried when he fed her fish, and
she’d only take a bite.
Page 12: He gently asks little Pebbles why she is so very
lonely and sad?
Pebbles
explained all she wants is to be back with her two dads.
Page 13: Saddened, Tom went straight to the Zoo office to
get this off his chest.
The zookeepers disagreed, “Tom is too young
to know what is best!”
Page 14: After their meeting, the zookeepers noticed
something was wrong.
Perhaps Pebbles’ two daddies should have
been there all along.
Page 15: Tom knew what he had to do. He went to get the
penguins back.
He drove 100 miles to another zoo where he
found Roy and Mac.
Page 16: Tom finally arrived at the Zoo after driving for quite
a while.
Roy and Mac ran to Pebbles. The zookeepers
couldn’t help but smile.
Page 17: The zookeepers realized it wasn’t about statistics
on charts.
Love and happy families are what happens in
our hearts.
Page 18: The zookeepers painted the walls, giving it a
colorful new flare.
Other gay and lesbian families came. They
were welcomed there.
Page 19: All the animals were so happy because Pebbles’
family was reunited.
The remodeled zoo opened and every kind of
family was invited.
Page 20: The zookeepers learned what happened when they
tried something new.
It
became the very best zoo in town, and it was called The Happy Zoo.
This is really good :).
ReplyDeletePage 7 - two ,instead of, to
Page 9 - may not need a question mark.
Page 13 - nothing is wrong. May want to change first line? but keep the rhyme.
I dont know if it sounds better to have, "“Tom is too young to know what is best!”
or “Tom is too young to know what's best!”
Page 20 has a great strong ending line. We could play with the 2nd sentence to make it rhyme? or maybe it is kind of redundant to rhyme zoo twice. not sure.
LOVE THIS!
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